Falter Read online

  The pause before the big show.

  The demons’ heavy frames stomped toward each other, abandoning me to reunite against the greater threat.

  A low rumble pulsated through the church, rebounding off the stone like the drone of thousands of hummingbirds amplified. The cathedral’s walls and floor shuddered under the intense power emitted by the angels’ beating wings. A gust of wind rushed through the building, stirring dirt and debris into little eddies around me. I choked on the mouthfuls of grime and dust thickening the blood pooling in my throat.

  Majestic roars sang out from the vaulted ceiling as the heavenly soldiers flew out of the shadows. The high-pitched blend of musical notes was beautiful but unbearably sharp. I gritted my teeth as the echoes of their yells built pressure in my head, forcing warm liquid to trickle from my ears.

  Fiendish screeches from the demons interjected, signaling the start of the other-worldly battle.

  My eyelids closed. Booms from massive bodies colliding and dropping from above sent shivers down my spine. I hoped that it was the monsters falling, not the angels.

  The pungent odor of ash and soot wafted into my nose. A good sign I thought, until the occasional wet, sticky fluid spattered against my skin and sunk me back into unease.

  A soft breeze traced over my body, soothing the heat of dozens of open wounds. I clung to the breeze like it was my first gasp of oxygen after almost drowning. The heavy, smoke and ash laden air that filled my chest lightened, permitting his honeyed fragrance to permeate each audible gasp.

  He hovered over my broken body and brush his fingers across my cheek, assuring me that he heard my prayers of desperation. The gentleness of his touch pulled me back from my impending oblivion. His beautiful face beamed down on mine, careful not to hint at how bad the situation was. A quick shimmer of his aqua-blue eyes gave him away though. Sympathy, love, and defeat hid in their depths, his hardened expression doing little to disguise the sorrow and concern he was trying to bury deep inside.

  I wanted to tell him how I felt, but it was too late for sharing feelings. Many times had passed in our moments together when I should have said something, made my confession and not been so stubborn. Now we’d never know what might have been.

  I struggled to keep sight of him, but couldn’t stay awake any longer. Visions of him holding me in his arms enticed me away from reality and lulled me to an endless sleep.

  I thought I heard a whisper of endearment drifting on the breeze of his wings as he left me for battle. The words, “I love you, Nevaeh,” replayed over and over in my fading thoughts.

  Whether it was real or not, I wasn’t sure, but it would carry me into my last moments of this life, and hopefully into the next.

  Surrender came swift to the unbeatable power pulling me under. My heart was satisfied enough to rest.

  CHAPTER TEN

  A Moment of Weakness

  “Nevaeh? Nevaeh!” Gavyn frantically shouted, stumbling down the stairwell.

  His knee hit my back when he knelt behind me. Strong, worried hands grasped my shoulders like they were keeping me from floating away. He shook me and yelled my name, but I was unable to answer. I was paralyzed. My ability to feel and hear everything around me was crystal clear, yet I couldn’t speak, see, or move. Gavyn spun me around and laid me across his legs, cradling me in his arms. Quick, shallow breaths warmed my cheek, but the comfort of that wasn’t enough to stop the chaos in my mind.

  My head swam with mysterious tableaus of the vision I’d just experienced, yet my failing memory dissipated the images as if my brain was rejecting them. The few scenes that remained faded under a foggy mask, rendering it impossible for me to make out exactly what they were. Momentary flashes of bright lights followed a second’s worth of clear shot, but nothing made sense.

  Jumbled voices and sounds narrated the tableaus, similar to a busy street with everyone talking at once from every direction. I couldn’t recognize a single person or thing. The noise, like the vision, faded too, forgotten along with the countless nightmares I’d recently had. My head throbbed from the constant shifting, and I felt drunk with dizziness. I waited for the last of the effects to subside, helpless and comatose.

  “Heeeelp!” Gavyn cried out next to me. “Somebody, help! We’re in the stairwell!” The last few words trailed off as he realized no one would hear over the chattering café. He rocked us back and forth, waiting for me to return to him.

  The passing minutes felt like forever, but slowly Gavyn’s handsome face materialized. I watched for a moment to make sure what I saw was actually him and not another image flashing before my eyes.

  He held me with his eyes closed, his head turned up toward the ceiling. Panic struck when I saw his mouth moving and no sound coming from it. Maybe this was another flash photo.

  Suddenly, I could feel my arms working to reach for Gavyn, reaching for some minute of grip on reality. He jerked his head down to look at me. His worried eyes filled with relief and he smiled. His strong, protective hand covered my cheek, pressing my head into his chest.

  “I thought I was imagining you. I couldn’t hear you talking,” I explained through relentless tears.

  “I was asking someone else for help.” He reached up and smoothed my tousled hair. “You might want to try it sometime.” A forced grin curved his lips.

  I clung to him and wept until my tear ducts were dry as a bone. My life had become too much for me to handle. I was losing the only man I considered family, my mind was turning into mush, I couldn’t trust my senses anymore, and I certainly couldn’t trust my heart. This release was a long time coming.

  With his arms tight around me and his chin resting on top of my head, Gavyn sat in silence, allowing me to finish my breakdown. It was so comfortable with him. I didn’t want to pull myself away. However, the time came when I was drained, and we had to move out of the moment.

  I looked up at him through my puffy, swollen eyes and took a couple of deep, shuddering breaths to calm my nerves. I hiccupped between gasps, struggling to gain control of my breathing. “I can’t take this anymore.” My voice was low and shaky. “I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do. I keep seeing things, but not in a way I can make any sense of them. What am I supposed to do, Gavyn?” I opened myself to him. There was no one else to help me and, hey, maybe there’s a chance he won’t think I’m a complete nut and run.

  “I don’t know what to do any more than you do, but I’ll be here for you however I can while you try to figure it out.” He quickly looked away like he didn’t want me to see something hiding in his eyes, like he had an answer but wasn’t ready to share it. “When you’re ready to talk about what you’ve seen, let me know and I’ll listen.” He looked back down at me with a smile that didn’t extend to his eyes.

  His fingers combed through my hair, stopping at the back of my head. His expression softened, and our eyes fixed on each other. The pressure of his hand on my head hardened just enough to guide me toward him.

  There was no urge to resist. I wanted to kiss him. A bundle of emotions and flutters whirled inside me as he lowered his mouth to my forehead. He pulled back and slid his other hand under my chin. The gentle nudge of his fingertips on my jaw brought our mouths to alignment. He closed his eyes, lips slightly parted, and waited for me to touch my lips to his. I fully intended to accept the invitation this time. I moved in and paused to enjoy the warmth of his strawberry breath on me.

  The door flew open with a bang next to us, and we jerked away from each other.

  “What are you doing?” Layla’s eyes sparked with hate and jealousy when she saw us.

  I glanced at Gavyn, hoping he wouldn’t mention anything that had happened in the last fifteen minutes. Layla didn’t need to know anymore about me than she did. Who knows what she’d do with the right information.

  His gaze roamed over my apprehensive expression while answering Layla, “Nevaeh fell off the last few steps, and I ran to make sure she was okay. We were letting her rest a bit lon
ger before trying to get her up.”

  Her face was shrouded in suspicion and disbelief. “Uh huh… well, you have a phone call at the front. Some guy says he wants to talk to the manager.” She scanned me over, examining me for threats to her ego more than for injuries.

  I clumsily scooted off Gavyn’s lap and stood up with a minor twinge in my knee where I’d hit the floor. I grimaced and inhaled sharply, letting the pain show to help Layla quiet any assumptions.

  Gavyn reached for the handrail and pulled himself up in one quick sweep. “Are you coming to get something to eat?” His lovely, green eyes asked me to follow him more than his question did.

  I glanced at the top of the stairs, thinking of George. “Yeah. I think I’ll get something for George too—some soup maybe.”

  Layla rolled her disapproving eyes and locked her arms across her chest. “Whatever,” she answered before turning on her heel with a flair of attitude and heading toward the café. I followed her out limping for effect.

  Just as I started to pass the kitchen door, Gavyn’s hand tugged softly at my side and directed me out of the hall. He skipped past me to pick up the phone, then nudged his chin towards some big copper pots on the stove.

  I moved to a cupboard and pulled two bowls out, then ladled a heaping portion of soup into each bowl. Arranging the food on a tray I retrieved from the drying rack, I remembered to grab some crackers and hot tea.

  I walked toward the pantry around the corner, stalling at the door for a moment, and stared into the darkness. A developing fear of the unknown coaxed the hairs on my neck to stand up. Putting on my “big-girl panties”, I swallowed and went in anyway.

  It took me a minute to find the light string hanging from the ceiling. I cringed at the unease stirring around me. The light flickered on and I jumped back, choking on a gasp. A face was glowering at me.

  My heart returned to its usual rhythm when I recognized who it was.

  Layla.

  She scowled at me with disdain. Again, my heart quivered from the pure anger that hovered around her like a black cloud. I wasn’t exactly sure what to say to her anymore. She was like Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde. The unsettling silence between us lasted long enough to make me fidget.

  Just as I was about to say something, though I wasn’t sure what, she spoke. “I know what you’re doing. I get it. He’s a sexy, successful man. His gift helps, too. But I want him, and I’m willing to fight for him.” She looked down at her feet, almost like she was questioning her next words, but she continued, “They want him really bad. They told me if I get him to join us, I can have him as my partner.” She looked back at me with such ice in her eyes that I wanted to cower under a rock. Her long, thin fingers wrapped around a tomato on the shelf next to us, picked it up, and held it in front of my face. “So leave him alone,” she commanded, squashing the fruit in her hand. She opened her fist, dropped the mess of skin on the floor, and licked the red, runny juice sliding down her fingers.

  Layla’s lips curled into a deviant smirk as she pushed past me, ramming her shoulder into mine as she left the pantry.

  My rigid body was anchored in place by the shock of Layla’s threat. I massaged the sore spot where she shoved me with one hand and slowly reached for the tea bags and crackers with the other.

  Composing myself, I headed into the kitchen. I grabbed two mugs from a stack on the counter, filled them with hot water, and then dunked the tea bags in the steaming liquid. I had to get back to George. Layla’s actions were not my top priority right now. Even if they did make me think twice about Gavyn. And what the hell was she talking about? What gift did he have? Who wanted him?

  I was almost to the stairs when I heard footsteps behind me.

  “Nevaeh.”

  I turned slowly, gripping the edges of the tray tightly so I didn’t spill hot tea and soup all over me. Gavyn slowed as he approached my side.

  “Look, don’t worry about coming back down to help. It’s already closing time, and you need to tend to George. We’ll be okay without you for tonight.” He looked at the tray I was holding and started rearranging the items on it. “If you put the heavier things closer to you, it’ll be easier to carry.”

  I couldn’t help but smile at his obsessive compulsive type actions. “Yes, boss.”

  He grinned. “Oh, Nevaeh?...Try not to fall down the stairs again,” Gavyn joked, jogging toward the cafe.

  I climbed the stairs, crept into the apartment, and inched over to the coffee table. I sat the tray down, eyeing George’s sleeping form. A pile of fresh blankets lay on the leather chair. I assumed Gavyn left them before he came to my rescue.

  I went to Gavyn’s bathroom, retrieved a washcloth from the cabinet, and then to the kitchenette where I filled a bowl with warm water. Sitting my gathered items on the edge of the coffee table beside George, I sighed and stifled back the tears stinging my eyes.

  The layers of blankets were drenched with sweat. I peeled them off him and dipped the rag into the water, then wrung it out. Blotting the ick from George’s face, neck, and arms, I prayed he would suddenly get better. The old man moaned under my touch and smiled with appreciation, but never fully woke up.

  I gently placed the clean blankets on him, one by one. Episodes of coughs and gasps for air came and went as he drifted in and out of sleep. I finished cleaning him the best I could without moving him too much.

  Kneeling on the floor at his side, I watched his sick body work double time to keep him alive. “George?” I whispered.

  “Yeah?” He responded wearily with his eyes closed.

  “George, I think it’s time we get you to a hospital. Or maybe I can find a doctor who makes house calls.”

  “Honey, I ain’t goin’ to no hospital. And I ain’t havin’ a doctor come here.” He wasn’t yelling or getting defensive like I expected he would. His answer was final, yet gentle. He simply stated that he didn’t want help.

  “But, George, you’re not getting any better. You can’t keep thinking you’re going to get well because of what Archard said.” My hands balled into a fist, wanting to pound my anger and fears away on Archard’s chest. My shoulders drooped in defeat, knowing that he wouldn’t change his mind—no matter what I said or did. “I need you to get well for me, and that requires going to the hospital,” I whined.

  His exhausted eyes opened and focused on mine. He smiled lovingly, “Nevaeh, I taught you everything I know, which ain’t much. I know in my heart you’ll be taken care of. Besides, you are a grown woman now.” George exhaled a frail breath. “I’m tired of living this life, baby girl. I was shown a whole new life, one where I wouldn’t have to struggle to live. With the daughter and wife I lost a long time ago. The guilt that I’ve carried for years has been taken from me, and I’m okay accepting the forgiveness given to me now.” He lifted his weak hand up and caressed my face tenderly, as a father would a daughter.

  I held his hand to my cheek and nestled into it, not wanting him to let go. I sat silent in my defeat, trying to think of ways to make him go to a doctor.

  “I can move on now. I can see my family. You don’t need me anymore.”

  “What do you mean? I do need you, George. Please don’t leave me.” My eyes squeezed shut, denying that any of this was happening, willing me to wake up from the nightmare. The tears broke through. I couldn’t imagine my life without this man. “Stay,” I begged. His hand eased back down against his body, and he fell back asleep with an apologetic smile.

  I thought about what he said, feeling confused and abandoned. Leaning back on my heels, I wiped my arm across my face and sniffled back the tears. There had to be a way to fix this.

  I was surprised to hear him talk of his family from before. He didn’t mention them very often, it was too painful. There was never a need to push the subject. Over the years, I learned he once had a nasty drinking habit that was attributed to horrible things he experienced as a child.

  George tried to straighten up when he met his wife and was successful for the mos
t part. He told me that they had a young girl, seven I think, and they were a picture-perfect family. Occasionally, though, he would have a drink or two without his wife knowing.

  One day was a particularly rough day for him. He had a few whiskey and cokes before heading home to pick up his girls for dinner. On the way to the restaurant, it started raining heavily. Because he’d been drinking, his reflexes were slow to react when he hydroplaned. George lost control of the car and ran off the road. The car slid into a tree with such impact that his wife hit her head on the dashboard, and his kid was thrown from the car. By the time he woke up, they were both dead.

  After that, the drinking consumed him again. He lost his job, his belongings, and he didn’t have any of his own family to rely on for help. That was the beginning of his life on the streets.

  I watched George sleep as I played his horrible story in my head, imagining the hurt he carried inside for so long. I wished that we’d talked about that part of his life more. Maybe the guilt wouldn’t have been so bad for him.

  He’d always told me I was his second chance. He quit drinking the day he found me under the dock. He believed an angel led him to me so he could repent for what he’d done by taking care of me. For whatever reason, he found me, and I’m glad he did. George is my family, blood or not.

  Nausea soured my stomach at the thought of losing him, of living without him. I stood and stretched my legs, pulling the blankets up to his chin before sinking into the leather chair next to him. My eyes wandered around the dimly lit apartment, noticing how the blue glow of the moon and stars emphasized the heavy shadows extending from the darker corners.

  I watched, feeling unsettled, expecting one of the eerie shadows to move or shift shapes. The uncomfortable silence around me didn’t help my distress. I kept waiting to hear some nonexistent, strange voice in my head give me crazy demands.